shorty

i have a severe pennicillin allergy.

this is pretty much perfect. a page from my art dream fantasy.
model houses covered in flour and water and left to mold.

stuck inside the internet with a headache

I'm not sure if this is totally how it feels but i like the thought.

Katie Shelly - Patterns of Inheritance

passion pit

The other night I dreamt standing at the entrance to the deepest vertical cave, although not bottomless. As I sood at the cave entrace, gathered around me was every single elementary and highschool teacher I can remember. Two by two, each teacher started rappelling down into the bottom of the cave.

"I used to beat myself up – perhaps I still do – for not loving you perfectly. I guess I was missing the point; I could never have loved you perfectly. In the way this whole world works to make us aim at progress, makes us focus on the beyond – distracted from what’s right there beside us – I realize now that I loved you not perfectly, but truly."

from here

autumn

tunnel vision

Something about this project is intensely satisfying....

do we have a deal?

If you make it up to me
(whooa)
I'll be true to you!
We can fix this problem of ideling and
every bad thing so
shake shake shake my hand
make make make a deal with me

if you make it up to me
Whooa
I'll be true you
yeahahuaha
yeah yeah
if you make it up to me
Whooa
I'll be true to you
shake shake shake my hand oh yeah!

do we have, do we have, do we have a deal?
So if you make it up to me
I'll be true to you!
Ohaoh yeah ohaoh yeah!

Come on shake my hand
if you make it up to me
say it
yeah ohaoh yeah

- written by Sophia (age 9)

Porcupines

This porcupine exemplifies my love for these little trompers.

Pika

Pika are somewhere between a rabbit and a hamster, and the cutest creature to kick its butt up while running.

i want a colony to live in an underground warren in my backyard.




seriously, they make their own hay and probably sleep in a burrow on bed of dried flowers.

liminal desires

Louise, I thought you were supposed to live forever....

Little Squirrel

Though the house may feel empty and sparse
friends watch for you
from the smallest crack
to the tallest cabinet
treading lightly under carpets
and creeping across the sill
they free the stale air from your pockets



You are loved.

guidance from dust

generally, as a rule, I don't engage the religious realm for guidance, but i tend to put dust into a category of magic realism.
May has been particularly challenging for many people i've encountered, alot of latent problems rising to the surface at once. I think someone explained it to me that the electrical energy of the earth was reawakening and needing to escape somehow (hence, thunderstorm season). this is the part where I start to question any ''truths" I might read into this.

then again, someone read my iching for me lately and I'm challenging myself to sit and think with it.
The question I asked before throwing was "what do I need to see"

here's what i've been sitting with.


31. Influence

THE JUDGMENT


Influence. Success.
Perseverance furthers.




THE IMAGE


A lake on the mountain:
The image of influence.
Thus the superior man encourages people to approach him
By his readiness to receive them.

A mountain with a lake on its summit is stimulated by the moisture from
the lake. It has this advantage because its summit does not jut out as a peak
but is sunken. The image counsels that the mind should be kept humble and
free, so that it may remain receptive to good advice. People soon give up
counseling a man who thinks that he knows everything better than anyone
else.

THE LINES

Six in the second place means:
The influence shows itself in the calves of the legs.
Misfortune.
Tarrying brings good fortune.

In movement, the calf of the leg follows the foot; by itself it can neither go
forward nor stand still. Since the movement is not self-governed, it bodes ill.
One should wait quietly until one is impelled to action by a real influence.
Then one remains uninjured.

Nine in the fifth place means:
The influence shows itself in the back of the neck.
No remorse.

The back of the neck is the most rigid part of the body. When the influence
shows itself there, the will remains firm and the influence does not lead to
confusion. Hence remorse does not enter into consideration here. What
takes place in the depths of one's being, in the unconscious mind. It is true
that if we cannot be influenced ourselves, we cannot influence the outside
world.

too cool for school

Remember school music class and recitals in the gym? Most of my memories involve playing hot cross buns on the recorder and wearing oversized tshirts printed wth the school logo. I did actually belong to the school choir for 2 years; singing in the gym at lunch hour was way better then trying to navigate bullshit on the playground. I think maybe if I had been given the chance to sing some beyonce (what would have been the equivilant at the time?) my life would be very different. The closest thing I can remember is Obla Di Olba Da; off key in the worst of ways.

Rcently I was introduced to the PS22 Chorus and I can't believe I've been missing out for so long!
Sometimes you don't know what you've been missing until you find it.

I'll admit it, I am a huge sucker for this kind of stuff, to the highest degree.
Something about those tiny soulfully singing faces..... how bad can shit be when you have a bunch of grade 5 telling you to keep on beleivin'?
Im totally addicted to watching all of these right now, thanks to Monique!

he is my favourite soul brotha

I ran a drop-in zine workshop tonight, each kid there made up a page, one guy wrote this and it made my day.



soul brotha for a long time
hes chill as iceeee
he is big in the heart and beast in the soul
i hope we will be soul brothas for a long time
me and him have always helped each other out when we needed it
mah soul broth is my best friend in the worldd

me and him are as tight as a knot
we never diss or cuss each other out




so you maybe be askin





how i met mah soul brotha





so me and him were chillin at the byc, i think im there now
I was lookin at him because I thought he was a guy i knew


a guy i was beafin with...


so i went up to him and i asked him if he was beafin with me
he said no and i said ok!!! me and him startin talkin and chillin
more and more then we became brothas through respect
but sometimes i dis apoint him...

so i think tonight im gonna impress him as much as i can

100% effort to him
top priority
me boppin troppin soul brotha


GO SOUL!!!

XD

the anxiety of influence

Sometimes, as a practice, I stare into a mirror long enough for my face to become so bizarre looking that I cannot recognize it as my own. The feeling is much like repeating the same word over and over, eventually it renders any associations it once had irrelevant.



To "fall out of familiar” with something, loosely for me, refers to a point of transition in a habit/routine/space/relationship/object when something once intensely familiar shifts into a completely strange and dissociated state. I am still looking for that single succinct word to best describe it.





Something about performance art makes me inexplicably apprehensive, particularly when it’s in galleries, Marina Abramovic's most recent piece The Artist is Present is no exception. The premise is that Marina will sit at a table and visitors take turns sitting opposite of her and ‘enjoy uninterrupted eye contact’ from her for as long as they can stand to sit there. Part of the piece that I didn’t expect was for MoMa to photograph each individual visitor. I admit I actually looked through each photo and soon realized just how intense this probably was/is for her. I don’t think I could literally sit in once place for 6 hours, let alone subject myself to an endless staring contest with strangers. As I flip through the photos, I start having the sensation I get when I’ve repeated a word too many times, each face more bizarre than the last.

It is interesting to see people who returned for a second sitting, little children, the interventionists and the large number of people brought to tears. I give it up to Marina for subjecting herself to this, an act for which I definitely would not have the emotional stamina. I’m not new-age, but I do believe in a certain telepathic control/influence we have other each other. This is probably what would happen to me if I tried to enter a staring contest with Marina.

Offret

100 metres underground runs a circular tunnel 27 km long, crossing the border between France and Switzerland. Inside the tunnel, two beams of subatomic particles are shot in opposite directions gaining speed with each lap until they are travelling faster than the speed of light. The beams are then sent hurtling into one another in hopes of having them smash apart, revealing the even smaller particles that make them up. However, when particles collide and rip apart, it is like two garbage trucks colliding and their contents spilling allover the road. The next part is trying to figure out what pieces came from where.

I don't really understand particle physics, or much about physics in general. Honestly, I feel a little ill by the thought of microscopic particles of energy orbiting each other inside my body.

But I think about all the lives lived just above the surface, of people in cars and on bikes running parallel to the energy below. Sometimes I feel as if we purposefully smash into each other, ripping apart to figure out whats really inside.